Serious About Wanting To save Your Relationship? : friends with ex

Friday, April 15, 2011

Is it okay?

I been thinking and wondering...

Is it okay to allow your partner to be friends with his ex?

What do I think?

I think maybe? Yes, because as long as I am doing my womanly duties as his girl then I have nothing to worry about. No, because what could they possibly be talking about? Day to day stuff and old memories. I would not like the idea of them mistakenly rekindling any feelings while remembering past times. Big mistake!

However, I do believe that everyone needs closure and if that his way of closing it then give it time and go from there.

I have been in this situation where I was nice enough to allow my bf to remain friends with his ex, only to find out down the line they had begun secretly dating. Whoo! was I pissed but I knew I had left myself open to this stupidity. My fault, I won't get fooled again.

So...

What Do You Think?

36 Questions for Couples from the best-selling ebook, 1000 Questions for Couples!

What are you most fearful of? How does that fear keep you from doing things you would like to do?
Do you find it very difficult to say "no" to your mom or dad when they want you to do something you would prefer not to?
Do you think it is risky or unhealthy for your mate to have a best friend of the opposite sex?
How do you feel about friends, relatives or people in need living in your house for a year?
If someone wanted to give you a $50 gift certificate to use on yourself, which store/theatre/spa would you tell him or her you wanted?
If you had to take a paid sabbatical and couldn't work for an entire year, what would you most like to do?
If you had to pick a different city to live in with your sweetheart and proximity to family and friends didn't matter, which city would it be?
Which family members should we buy birthday or special holidays gifts for (parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc.)?
Is there anything you feel you must accomplish before you die? What steps do you need to take to achieve these goals?
What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing?
If you and your spouse had two cars, one much nicer than the other, who do you think should drive the newer vehicle? Would it make any difference if only one of you worked?
Do you believe there is one right person for you out there in the world or that there can be many different potential mates that you could live blissfully with?
If your dear friends wanted you to donate sperm or eggs because they were infertile, would you do so? How would you feel about your mate doing so? What about donating them for a couple that would remain anonymous?
Is there anyone you would be willing to die for?
If you could plan any vacation for us, where would it be?
What do you think are your optimum hours of sleep to be fully energized?
Are you currently comfortable with your body? If not, what would you change to make you comfortable?
If you suddenly became blind, how would your idea of the perfect mate change?
What first attracted you to me? How has that one attraction changed since then?
Do you prefer receiving expensive gifts or ones that come from the heart?
If you could live one year of your life all over again without changing a thing, what year would you choose? Why?
On which topics do you feel qualified at giving advice?
Over the last five years how do you think you have changed for the worse? Better?
If your partner had an affair, how would you react? Could you forgive him or her?
What five things have you done in your life that you are most proud of?
About what things are you most selfish?
Which do you think should have the final say in decisions - logic or emotions? Why?
What makes you feel secure and safe?
Do you think you would prefer a calm, loving, consistent marriage or one that was full of excitement, wild times and rocky patches?
What one skill do you wish you had learned but haven't yet (Play the piano? Learn a foreign language? Fly a plane? Etc.)?
When you are sick and feeling poorly, do you like to be alone or do you like to be pampered and have someone close to your side, most of the time?
If a fire destroyed your home and all of your belongings, what would you do? If you could take out three things before the blaze, what would they be? (Assuming there is no one in the house at the time of the fire.)
Is it ever appropriate for someone to express anger in a physical way? If so, when and how?
What does my family do that annoys you?
Do you need to hear "I love you" or similar words on a regular basis from your partner?
What rituals could be added to our relationship on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis that would help us to remain close?