The Rachael Ray Show

Monday, February 14, 2011

Thinking of Tying The Knot? 5 Tips To Make Sure You Stay Together.

Did you know that love does NOT conquer all?

You see, often people get married with the idea
that their “chemistry” or undying love for each
other will keep them together forever.

However, with almost 50% of marriages ending in
divorce these days, it’s obvious that this isn’t
the case. Therefore, it pays to know a few little
secrets before getting married.

Here are 5 tips that help keep couples together
long after tying the knot:



TIP#1 -- CONTINUE DATING

Over the years, people often drift apart or
relationships and marriages become stale because
couples fail to do new and special things together.

That's why going on new and refreshing dates is so
important. In fact, there is something about
“dating” that creates a sense of magic in a
relationship and can even bring relationships out
of a rut.

While on a date, you also put more effort into your
appearance, have more uninterrupted time to
communicate on a deeper level and are naturally
drawn closer together.

Stuck for ideas? Spend the day at the aquarium,
zoo, museum, carnival, bookstore, beach or park.



TIP#2 -- DELAY IS OFTEN BETTER

It’s a well-documented statistic that couples who
have dated for a year or longer before marriage
have a significantly lower rate of divorce than
those who married after a short dating period.

A year of dating gives time for many emotions to
surface and many character traits to be discovered.
You may adore someone in the spring, but despise
him or her in the winter.

Asking someone for his or her hand in marriage on
the third date isn't romantic. It's gambling.



TIP#3 -- ALWAYS EXPRESS YOUR LOVE

Oftentimes, as a relationship matures, partners
tend to stop praising each other because they
'assume' their partner already knows what they're
thinking.

When in reality, a day should never go by without
you praising your partner. Compliment them on their
cooking, reaffirm that they're the greatest person
in the world or tell them they’re a wonderful role
model. If you want to be loved and romanced by your
sweetheart, love and romance them first. When
they're feeling loved, it is much easier to love in
return.

Are you a super supporter of what your mate does
and says? So do you cheer them on and praise them
constantly? Or do they constantly hear boos or
silence?



TIP#4 -- TAKE TIME TO UNDERSTAND YOUR PARTNER

Couples with the most problems are often the ones
that say, "I just don't understand him/her."

So let me ask you: How knowledgeable are you about
your mate's profession or the degree they are
pursuing? Do you know anything about his or her
family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful
conversation about her cross-stitch hobby or his
interest in rugby? If you are a man, do you fully
understand what women experience during PMS or
menopause?

You don't need to be identical, but make an effort
to learn about the things that interest your
partner in life and you'll grow closer as a result.


TIP#5 -- ANSWER THE *BIG* QUESTIONS

Does your partner want kids? Do you both want
careers? Do they have a history of spending their
way into debt? Do they go to church?

In my opinion, the biggest reason almost half of
marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to
ask each other the right questions BEFORE they get
married.

I guess people think they'll be able to change
their spouses after marriage and everything will be
better. Wrong. If you fail to sit down and discuss
finances, religion, sex, housing, your future, and
other topics in great detail, you could end up with
nothing but argument after argument for the rest of
your days.

In the end, if you both have completely different
views, desires and goals in life, there’s no
guarantee that chemistry or "I love you’s" will
help you stay together.

Make it your utmost priority to understand each
other 'inside-out' BEFORE you take that walk down the aisle.

What Do You Think?

(note: if you choose not to purchase "1000 Questions For Couples," That's fine just stay tuned for 33 of 1000 Questions for Couples, this should still help you and your partner along the right path!)

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